Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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  (270): Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile (270): But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird. http://tfl.nu/vi1s
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (884)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.

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  (717): WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night. http://tfl.nu/710a
  Replies (20) Good night (1018) Bad night (1459) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.

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  (216): i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure. http://tfl.nu/jrrk
  Replies (21) Good night (698) Bad night (5005) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.

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  (860): i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug. http://tfl.nu/sjuy
  Replies (25) Good night (3330) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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  (818): We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings. http://tfl.nu/9pm8
  Replies (26) Good night (5641) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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  (201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk
  Replies (61) Good night (14409) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3625) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

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  (509): I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here. http://tfl.nu/f99e
  Replies (19) Good night (1342) Bad night (5221) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.

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  (708): I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off. http://tfl.nu/0f1b
  Replies (34) Good night (5098) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?

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  (419): I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat? http://tfl.nu/2nrh
  Replies (30) Good night (1061) Bad night (4068) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer

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  (817): besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer http://tfl.nu/fbgv
  Replies (7) Good night (1899) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (682): View more from Texas

  I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

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  (682): I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery. http://tfl.nu/qxsn
  Replies (4) Good night (1918) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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  (541): Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet. http://tfl.nu/2bxm
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (843): And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married (1-843): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/54cc
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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