The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.