I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall