The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.