I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.