If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize