how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
