that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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