Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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