The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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