If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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