how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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