this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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