We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize