i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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