I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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