Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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