Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
