wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize