I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
