ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
