yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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