It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
