I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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