And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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