He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
