you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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