We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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