wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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