In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
