He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
