You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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