I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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