On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back