turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back