so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude