Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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