i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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