is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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