I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
