remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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