We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!