Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no you cant smoke seaweed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When are your genitals available?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up