Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he thought i was a dude.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
