I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit