i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island