her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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