ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dating After Heartbreak
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
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I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family