he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.