I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist