It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE