:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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