Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
