Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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