Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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