is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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