I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
