whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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