she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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