end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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