Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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